5/23/2006
I don't know what planet I've been on in the past several months, but whatever it was apparently didn't have online journal updating capabilities.
Since January, my friend Tracey has been finishing up her last semester of school to get her associates. So, every Tuesday I've watched 4 year old Tori for the entire day. Tracey and her kids have been a part of our lives for over a year now. I haven't been so attached to anyone's children since Bishop, and that whole situation was so tragic that I suppose I've just sort of avoided it.
(For any new people that might magically start reading, Bishop is my Godson. His mother, Monica, lived with me off and on for several years and Bishop spent a majority of the first 2 years of his life with me. I've seen him 3 times since I kicked her out for good 5 years ago. I'm sure he doesn't remember me, but he was a beautiful child and I cared a lot about him.)
Anyways, I hope that someday Bill and I will have kids of our own...and then it might even seem weird to look back through all the pictures I have of Tracey's kids and how big of a part they play in our lives. But every month that goes by, I start thinking that maybe Bill and I just aren't meant to be parents. So we might as well just enjoy the time with these kids. I can't believe how hilarious Tori is...not to mention smart...and she's grown a foot or so since we met. She was a baby and now she's a girl! I'm so jealous that I don't have one of my own, but at the same time I'm glad when she gets to go home and I can sleep.
My health hasn't changed much. At least I don't feel that it has. My doctor retired in December and I have yet to replace him. How bizarre is it to go from having almost weekly doctor visits to none at all? I'm saving money in copays, I guess. And my labwork was all over the place then, I'm sure it is now...they couldn't fix it so I might as well spend my time doing something more worthwhile than sitting in a waiting room.
Work changed the attendance policy. It was pretty strict before. We could get 3 "occurrences" within 6 months before being put on a final notice. And if you missed 3 days and got a dr's note, it was considered 1 occurrence. So it was tough for me, but I got by because I got dr's notes. Now, we can miss 5 shifts a year. Period. That's it. Dr's notes are worthless. I've missed 3 days this year and it's not even half over. But 3 days in the past 6 months for me is momentous! I'm working more hours, more days a week, taking classes on my days off, and babysitting as well. To add stuff to my plate and not take time to recuperate is either a change for the better or going to lead to my own personal rock bottom. I'm gambling a lot these days...with my life that is.
I've known for a long time that I could possibly get laid off in September, if I'm not fired for my attendance first. Instead of looking for a new job like a responsible person would do, I'm hanging on for dear life. I make good money, have good benefits, and although I don't know how to take my new supervisor...she sure is giving me a lot of perks and responsibilities. (Hence, the classes I'm going to.)
Yesterday in class, I met a girl that works for a local company that makes scrapbooking embellishments. She raved about her job and said that I would love it there. She said that she'd be happy to email me with job opportunities. I'm not quite sure what to do? From what she said, I gather I'd be taking a paycut and the benefits may not be all that fabulous...but it would be a career change. No more customer service!!! And I love scrapbook stuff. Discounts!
But right now, as important as career happiness is, my main priority is my health and I need my benefits. And Bill is working so hard that I don't have a right to walk away from the kind of money that I make that will get everything paid off and get us into a house. We've been doing so well....every time we turn around there are thousands of dollars in our checking accounts. Our bills are paid. We have a savings account for the first time ever. I can't jeopardize that.
I'm going to backtrack a little bit here and gripe about work some more. Basically I work for a utility company that has 10 different territories. When they put half of them up for sale over a year ago, we were all immediately worried but the big guys said not to worry, it takes 18-24 months for a sale to go through all the commissions and everything. By then we'd lose people by natural attrition, so not many if any should be laid off. So here we are a year later and 3 of the territories are already sold and a couple more are in the works. Now words like "merger" are being thrown around. And again, I heard the whole spiel about "don't worry, it takes 18-24 months for any kind of merger to go through!" I know job security is a myth, but I'd like to think that I could have a little bit more assurance that I won't get laid off while I was 8 months pregnant because I made a life choice that landed on the wrong side of a business decision.